Because I know that I deserve it, and I cannot blame anyone for it.
Posted by: addenza on: October 9, 2009
It’s nice to read/watch what they have been doing, but after what I’d done, it’s impossible for me to return to their side. There is this dislike so blatant that I cannot help but cringe if I get too near. So I do not hope for forgiveness. Of course, I know that no one is ever liked by everyone and I am not running for a popularity contest. Nonetheless, it is the actions of a fool if I had continued to force my company upon them, making everyone uncomfortable.
–And so, I repent, but keep my distance.
It is unhealthy to hope when you know your own limits.
Posted by: addenza on: October 8, 2009
OMG. I passed my promos. Well, GP, Math and Chemistry anyway. Although they are all in the region of 50+ marks, I’ll slowly move from there towards a B and then hopefully an A. Haha. Looks like fighting to the end with the promos does help in passing it. I was battling all the subjects with my silver armour and shiny sword pen. XD I guess memorising helped? But then again, I’ve not seen how I’ve done for my Econs and Physics, so I should comment more after I’ve seen them. BAHHH. Too horrifying.
Doing PW is seriously pissing me off now. People love to tell me last minute that they are going to find someone. *nudgenudgehinthint – you know who you are* And having disappearing acts – the person in particular has earned a punishment. It just goes to show how considerate you guys are. Oh thanks a lot. I have no need for this kind of consideration. Oh well, you guys just had to trigger the project-crazed demon switch in me, which has not been switched on for 5 years. There isn’t enough time left. I’d rather finish earlier so that we can make revisions than finish right on time and cannot even have time to change or adjust to the changes.
Whatever. Thinking about it makes me pissed. One more time this happens, and I might lose control of my temper and have a shouting match in school. I’m not going to care about the location. Neither will I give those people who refuse to cooperate so many chances.
ColorGenics II
Posted by: addenza on: October 7, 2009
Took this test again cause YH took it again and I felt like doing so just to see how different I am feeling right now from that time I did it – refer to that one here. It’s really kind of accurate. Creepy. ><
—
Enough is enough – and you feel that you’ve had enough for a while. You don’t need any more battles. You just would like to be able to shout ’stop’ and experience a little peace and calm – even if it be only for a little while. This doesn’t mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world – it just means that you are seeking some respite, some physical or emotional relaxation that could release some of the the tension and possibly reduce the internal conflict.
Rejection is what you fear the most and it is this fear that makes you unapproachable. You are looking for acknowledgement and above all looking for people who can appreciate you for who and what you are.
Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.
Setback after setback has resulted in considerable stress and now you have got to the stage where you are continuously on your guard, not only to protect yourself from others but to protect yourself from yourself. It would seem that many of your unfulfilled hopes and dreams have led to uncertainty and suspicion. You no longer wish to answer to others and you are insisting on freedom of thought. You feel that you are fully self-sufficient and can control your own destiny. You are seeking ways to protect yourself from further loss of prestige and against further setbacks. You have become very dependent and you doubt that matters could possibly get any better in the immediate future and this negative attitude is leading you to exaggerate your claims and to refuse reasonable compromise.
You need to be needed and would like a situation where you will no longer be subjected to pressures and demands from those about you. There is no harm in ‘dreaming’ but it is you – and only you – that can be able to realise those dreams and to turn them into reality.
Everyone gets frustrated, but all you can do is to move on with your own two feet.
Posted by: addenza on: October 5, 2009
Went out with the 2H gang yesterday to Minds Cafe. I assumed that we were supposed to eat lunch there, but we ended up not eating anything, and everyone was late except for Sam and I. XDDD
We played a lot of games that I’ve never even heard of before. And most of them were fun. Lost at the Janga game so I had to go do a dare which was to wish the birthday boy/girl at the next table a happy birthday. But there was two. ;_; And everyone started playing Janga at their own tables. XD So funny. And one of their dares was to topple our Janga stack (record: 30 levels, thanks to Gui Ju).
And everyone was quite fascinated with my phone (so am I)… And they dropped it on the carpet floor… I nearly got a heart attack, cause I was afraid that dropping it would kill the phone (touchscreen phones are most vulnerable to drops – they will die after that).
I’m going to swear off high heels for a while… Because I forgot to cut my toenails before wearing them and now my toes hurt like hell. >< Hmm, I’m too lazy to write out what happened the entire day, so I’ll just stop here. Pictures might be up soon, when I remember to post them. 
I hide behind my forced smiles.
Posted by: addenza on: October 3, 2009
I was going to go out in the morning with XL and YH at around 11, but YH overslept and woke up late. XDD So we ended up meeting at 1.30pm instead. LOL. And we went to Macs for lunch where YH only ate the burger while XL and I ordered a meal each (which XL couldn’t finish and ended up bringing home…). Went bowling and XL and I tried our best to teach YH the art of bowling, but, as with all beginners, she got off on a poor start. And I kept getting the ball into the gutter so much that I was pissed and started another game with XL cause YH had already given up. XDDD And I managed to hit more pins this time. XDDDDD So fun. Then we went to the arcade and played a lot of the games there. I didn’t totally die in Daytona so I’m quite happy. And I won YH and XL in the pistol shooting game. We were going to play the one where we get to throw the balls at the screen, but I was told to go home so that we could have enough time to get my new handphone so we had to stop the arcade games. Sigh.
Finally went out with my parents today. It’s been such a long time since I did that! And it rained. Hmm… One improvement about Hello!Singtel. The service is now faster. We didn’t have to wait in line just to get one queue number, and we didn’t have to wait for one hour plus just to get to see the personnel about what we want to do. Oh yeah, and I was happy(: I got the LG Crystal in the end, and a new plan. Gave up on iPhone 3GS cause it really was Singtel’s way of milking all the phone was worth out of us by jacking up the price. Okay, anyway, I’m still in the stage of getting to know my new phone/charging it for 8 hours. But I love the handwriting feature, though it probably would have been better if it could differentiate between a punctuation and a letter without me having to change the input type. And the internet is kind of fun on the phone, but really small. >< My sis was having fun with it too. XDDDD I have no idea why I’m not very excited about the new phone… Maybe it’s just because I’m too tired to keep playing with it while sitting at the place where we put all our handphone and battery chargers. That must be it.
I’m so tired, but I’m still going out tomorrow! With the 2H gang for lunch (cause I didn’t want to go for dinner). XDD And my mom complained about me going out every day. Heehee. I’ve already thought of what to wear, and I just need to remember to go tomorrow.
Okay, I’m really too tired to talk about every single detail, but today was very fun, though XH couldn’t come cause she got grounded for not packing up her room. It makes me wonder just how serious is it for her to be actually grounded… Or maybe her mom’s just strict. She gets grounded every time we go out and play. Poor XH. She’s missing out on a lot. Ending this here!
But the proud peacock refuses to shed his pride.
Posted by: addenza on: October 3, 2009
Phew. Promos are finally over. XDDD End of my self-imposed blogging curfew. Hmm, I think I’m definitely going to fail Physics cause I couldn’t do the paper. >.> Shucks. I’m really going to get retained, I think. Or I’ll have to drop one subject to H1. ;_; Hopefully not, but the situation looks bleak to me.
First off, my handphone broke down. I couldn’t get a reaction out of the buttons (not the keypad) that I pressed. Sigh. It recovered for a few hours and then died again. ;_; So now I’m using my dad’s old handphone which is also half-dead cause I can’t get a reaction out of the call button. Sigh. But I’m changing my phone tomorrow (hopefully to LG Crystal, cause iPhone 3GS from Singtel is just trying to cheat us of our money), so thank goodness for that.
Oh, and I cut my hair very short right before the promos started, so if I do score better for my promos as compared to my CTs, I’m really going to keep my hair short for the rest of my JC life. XDDD Although there’s actually no link to my hair. XDDDD Everyone thought I cut it due to exam stress. And I felt like saying that I got so stressed that I tried to burn all my notes, but ended up burning my hair by mistake. Heehee. Anyway, my hair had not been cut for almost the entire year, so I guess it was a relief for me to cut it, though it looks very wild now too. Sigh. But many people I know didn’t recognise me, and Der Hui is forming a habit of rubbing my head whenever he sees me. Oh no. And I’m too short to prevent him from doing that too. Sigh. I’ve to bring a comb around everywhere I go now, cause my hair will get messy quickly.
Okay, talking about the class outing (or more like half-the-class outing) today, where the whole class was booked but many of them just made other plans despite that, it was super fun. We took a loooooong time to decide where to eat lunch (KLP), what to eat (Pastamania) and where to go to after the movie (the pet shop to look for a class pet and Nicole actually suggested a chinchilla!). But we decided to watch a movie fast enough, and we wanted to play in the arcade but we were wearing our school uniforms and the person said that he would recognise students even if we changed out. LOL. So we scrapped that idea and waited for Cass and the other Physics Olympiad people to come. And we watched “The Ugly Truth”. XD
When we were in Pastamania, Chak came up with his theory of relativity. Chak’s theory of relativity: Your cousin… is your relative. All of us literally sweatdropped at that. XD And then we laughed for a long time.
—
Continuing this on another day. I’ll be back! Probably will talk about how we spent our time in Pastamania. XD
—
Hmm. I’m back for more. Anyway, the girls (Nicole, Cass, Yi Xin and I) ordered pizza cause eating a plate of pasta each just costs too much. XDDD And actually, we walked one whole round in KLP before we decided on what was suggested in the first place. XDDD Okay, I’m spamming my laughter now. Sigh. Uh… After the movie, we went to Raffles City and walked around trying to look for a place that wasn’t too expensive and could accomodate all of us. And we ended up in Burger King, where the guys continued their conversation on DOTA and video games… with all the girls participating once in a while. Heehee.
Okay, I can’t really remember what happened yesterday… Something like we were bowling and Zenn was being very competitive. XDDD
I think I should just move on to a new post.
I am a spoilt brat.
Posted by: addenza on: September 5, 2009
- In: My life
- 5 Comments
Okay, here’s an update on my week, and since my promos are coming (I have this bad feeling that I’ll fail badly cause I didn’t study), so this shall be my last post for a long time.
Teachers’ Day celebration was fun! Our class dressed up as The Screwdriver Man (inspired by Mr. Chew’s pet phrase). XDDD And the guys finally let Mr. Chew listen to the rap they made out of his pet phrases. It was super funny, but I thought that it was funnier when they did it off-stage. Oh yeah, and our class was actually chosen to go up on stage and explain our outfit. XD The funny thing was, Chak was rehearsing what he was going to say before flag-raising! XDD And the way he said it didn’t make sense in the beginning, but towards the end it did.
Mr. Chew and Miss Lam’s faces when they saw our outfit was hilarious. Like that kind of “OMG, I DON’T KNOW WHO THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE ARE.” Followed by laughter. XDDD In fact, everyone was laughing. Come on, how can you not laugh when you see people wearing trash bags + a bucket/paper bag/cardboard boxes on their heads + screwdriver in their hand? And I didn’t take any pictures. ;_: Never mind, I was never one for the pictures anyway.
We were supposed to go for a class outing after the celebration, but there was a communication breakdown and everyone went their separate ways instead. In the end, it was only the class committee and Szu Yee and Zenn who went out for lunch together. Sigh. It’s so sad. I didn’t feel like asking Amanda, Bao Yi and the others out cause I was pretty sure that they’d rather go out with their Sec 4 friends. Okay, it’s just us DHS people who wouldn’t have anywhere to go? XDD As in, no one to meet up with since we keep seeing each other every day already! >.> Okay, anyway, it’s not too sad. I got to go home and slack on the internet when I should have been studying. XDDDD
Anyway, this week was really kind of short. And we still have to meet up tomorrow for PW. Arghh! PW.
On a side-note, we have started learning LAPA again. That’s… kind of boring, cause that day, I was the only Prime Two there, and there was no one to teach. But there was a lot of Altos, though. In fact, all the Altos were there, I believe. I think Sin Hui and Liu Jin probably went crazy teaching them, but it sounded okay during the combined. That is, if you ignore all the weird sounds that come out when they play the scales for the last bit of the first 16 bars. XDDD It sounded like a lot of things were dropping on the floor. LOL. I nearly laughed there. But I had a hard time playing slow, cause I only needed to pluck the chords Em, Am6, Am, F#7 and B7 for that part. And I got kind of confused when the melody fell apart at the last bit, but it was a good thing that Sin Hui and Liu Jin were there to save the Altos. XDDD But I’ve a bad feeling about the Prime people. Hmm, why is that so? Let me go check who’s in Prime 1/2. Okay, it’s not too bad. I have Hsin Yao and Shi Yun! Yay(: As for Wan Bo, we’ll make him practise (depending on who’s the SL – not me, please!).
Uh, okay, that’s all I have to say for today. Will be back after Promos if I feel like it. I.E. I didn’t fail my subjects and can be promoted to year 6. >”<
The moonlight that made its way to my window has unfastened the lock to my heart.
Posted by: addenza on: August 26, 2009
Ahem. Firstly, the title is taken from the ending song in The Piano Forest. I can’t remember the exact name except that there was a “Moonshine ~???~”.
Anyway, I went to Pulau Tekong with my classmates today. I have this gut feeling I can’t talk much about the trip, so I shall talk about other things that happened before and after the trip. =D
Mr. Chew sent the three SCs in our class to take the bus with 5C31 cause they needed more people to fill up the space in the bus, so our bus trip was relatively short. And it’s a good thing that I found out that I could go straight home from there. Heehee. Mr. Chew was supposed to come with us but an emergency cropped up so he couldn’t go.
We got this yellow wristband for identification on the bus to the ferry terminal. And the ferry terminal was the SAF one, which has bus 89 at the bus stop outside its gates. XDDDD I was so happy.
The ferry ride was fun. Szu Yee was flipping his water bottle and Shaun and Kai Ming were trying to learn from him. Valerie was reading her notes when Szu Yee’s water bottle cap dropped off while it was in mid-air. The result: the splashing of water across Valerie’s notes which are not water-proof and a scream of surprise/shock. The funniest thing was, they tried to dry the notes by waving it in the direction that the air-conditioner was blowing. Honestly, I don’t think it worked too well.
Travelled around the place but I don’t think I can reveal any details. XD So, let’s just skip to the time we were on the ferry back to Changi. We were trying to play games but it didn’t work out so well cause someone would screw up almost immediately after we got started. XDDD
Okay, I should end here and do my WR, and then my Chemistry tutorial and then study for Physics test on Friday. ;_;
Then, let us start from scratch.
Posted by: addenza on: August 22, 2009
Lalala. Flopped my Physics SPA, but I heard from my sis that if I disclose the content or part of it on my blog, I’ll be barred from the A-Levels, so I shan’t tell you here how I flopped it. XDDDD I nearly cried on the spot when I realised my mistake and there was only 5 minutes left to the end of the exam, though. ;_;
Anyway, I was thinking of what to get XH for her birthday and was wavering between a cheesecake (the tiny one) and some soft toy (got her an elephant last year XD) but then stupid me went to ask for her opinion and now I really have to make one for her. XDDDD So if anyone wants cheesecake on Monday, you can tell me and I’ll just bring them along. XDDD Not saying much though, seeing as my friends don’t really come to my blog. Hehheh. Actually, that was the entire point. By the way, I’m not going to make baked cheesecake. I’m going to use the recipe for the no-bake cheesecake = using gelatine. XDDDD I swear that it’s nice! At least, when my sis and I made it the previous time.
Erm, I just wanted to update cause it’s been so long since I blogged.
Uh. Erm. I’m kind of lost for words, but it was quite funny how I anticipated Zhi Yi’s reaction when I told her about the details of the latest chapter of Skip Beat and she reacted in the exact same way. XDDDDD Super funny. She got quite agitated too.
Okay, okay, I really have to go revise now. I shall do my homework first, though. ><
My tiny prayer fell from the stars.
Posted by: addenza on: August 14, 2009
It’s finally Friday! It seemed like the week would never end. ;_; And I’m stuck with a lot of homework for the weekend as always. It’s a good thing that we’re having a holiday on Thursday, though. I can take that chance to catch up with work, and if I can, I’ll start some revision too (it’s high time I did it).
Totally died for the Math tutorial test. Okay, not really. Just died for the six-mark question.
And I went to find the guitar scores for Itsumo Nando Demo. Thanks to Cass, I managed to find one. Haha. But I played it so badly it was choppy. And super slow. XDDD Then after that, I realised that I could use the chords shown to play the parts better, but then there were some parts where I couldn’t use the chords. *sighs* But it was still a good find. I’ll print it out when I’ve the chance and practise it. Oh, and I have to practise the ensemble version too. And yes, I’m totally giving up on Taboo as a lost cause. XDDDD
Chemistry lecture was pretty entertaining. I wonder how *ahem ahem* could sleep through the entire lecture when the lecturer’s voice was so loud and sharp I had to cover my right ear whenever I wasn’t writing. Uh yes, I realised today that my right ear was a bit more sensitive to noise than the left. I wonder why… Anyway, someone was trying means and ways to wake *ahem ahem* up such as smacking his face with the notes and whispering weird things like this song which went something like “That’s not your name, your name.” And I think the original lyrics was supposed to be “That’s not my name, not my name.” Or something like that, anyway. So I was pretty entertained when *ahem ahem* really slept through the entire lecture but only opened his eyes for less than a minute throughout. XDD And Miss Lam got pretty pissed with us scribbling conversations on the attendance list. XDD What can we say? Uh, take our attendance for us? Since we were provided with this nice clean paper to write on…
Victoria really fell sick today. I think. She had to leave halfway through Physics lab to go to the GO to take her temperature again. And I swear that the gun thermometer is utterly INACCURATE in taking temperatures!!! It records temperatures which are around one degree lower than the actual one!!! Terrible.
And she, Szu Yee and Cass tried pestering me to open the guitar room for them so that they can skip the Physics Olympiad training today. XD I rushed out of the lab before they could force me into doing it. It was a good thing they were not talking in my right ear. If they did, I might probably have done it for real. XDD
Oh, I changed my blog skin cause the flowers one was getting on my nerves again. Hehheh. Let’s see how long I can make this one last. Actually, I prefer my first one, but it seems like there’s a lot of people who are using that, so I gave it up as a lost cause. I’ll probably revert to the second one (Dusk) if I really can’t find a nice one.
